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Learning to relax in an 80 hour work week

October 04, 2011

As a busy therapist juggling a home, social life, work schedule and study, my idea of a relaxed existence evaded me for a long time!

I admit I was a total charlatan; I would sit in my therapy sessions passing on advice about the importance of body awareness, relaxation and ways to look after yourself and then find that I hadn’t followed one piece of my own advice.

“Does there always need to be a compromise?” I would sigh into the sofa. “Can’t I be successful in business, look fashionable in jogging bottoms and t-shirts, have time at home with my family, socialize regularly with friends and have the inner piece, health and vitality of a meditating, vegan, yogi guru?”

My only reassurance came from knowing I wasn’t the only one out there that felt this way. Put your hands in the air if you want to do everything, miss out on nothing but constantly wish you had more time to yourself?

After an 80-hour work week and a dinner of fish finger butties, I gazed with glazed over-tired eyes into my red wine and promised that tomorrow I’ll start to make the long needed change!

Always up for a challenge and never one to shy away from work, I set off on my mission to free myself of compromise. There had to be a way of achieving it all and I was going to figure it out.

Improving my resilience and energy levels

First on the list was increasing my resistance to ill health and fatigue and I definitely knew I should be eating better than fish fingers, chocolate and red wine. To tell the truth, my diet wasn’t that bad; most days I managed three meals a day, included some fruit and vegetables and drank a decent amount of water. I really didn’t have the energy or time to figure out what to change. So I sought the advice and knowledge of an amazing nutritionist.

Being under stress depletes the body of energy and nutrients and over time a domino effect occurs causing skin problems, digestive complaints, a tendency to pick up bugs and chronic muscular aches, pains and cramps.

My body was screaming out for fuel but I simply wasn’t taking the time to listen. Instead I’d shove a chocolate bar in my mouth and thrive off the short-lived sugar boost.

Learning the importance of nutrition and how to heal from within was much easier than I thought. Some simple changes to the times I ate, the food groups I snacked on and some supplements to make up for the things I’d been lacking and voila! I was able to increase and stabilize my energy levels and I turned into the skipperty young lamb I used to be. My immune system flourished enabling me to get on with life rather than feeling I was fighting a daily up hill struggle.

Getting the monkeys off the car

Next on the list was freeing up some time!

Have you ever been to a wildlife park? Even if you haven’t you will have heard the stories about the monkeys sitting on your car and pulling your windscreen wipers off, stopping you from driving forward.

We had a saying in our house, “monkeys”! We used it when referring to all the time consuming things that were asked of us, and the people that stopped us from achieving what we really wanted to do.

For a long time I didn’t see a way round this, I found it all too easy to say yes to everything and the more I did the more was asked of me. I thought it was a flaw in my own ability to be efficient. But then I started to shake the monkeys off the car.

I was truly honest with myself and looked at my commitments. The things that I didn’t enjoy doing got put in one pile and the things that achieved nothing got put there with them. Before I knew it I had just the enjoyable things left and a whole load more time!

Learning to say no

A crucial part of getting rid of the monkeys was learning to say no to things and it was actually simpler than I thought! There is only one way to say yes but there’s actually hundreds of ways to say no.

Being supportive from a distance to new projects is possible and carefully choosing which to become involved with is much more rewarding. I found just attending the odd committee meeting, opening or social event and contributing while I was there was a much more enjoyable experience than being an organizer at them all!

Regular time out

Instead of filling my diary with things to do for others, I now make sure that once a week there’s at least an hour dedicated to myself.

I regularly receive massage and reflexology treatments. Which keeps me in touch with myself and quite importantly stops me turning a blind eye to all those aches, pains and annoying little symptoms of something much bigger.

Receiving first-hand the benefits of the therapies that I offer, also adds to my practice and finally I can have conviction in the advice I pass on in a session.

Exercise and Yoga

With both energy and time on my hands I felt ready to increase my fitness levels. It’s really important to find a form of exercise that you enjoy. Yoga suits me down to the ground. I can practice anywhere, adapt a session to my mood, include relaxation techniques and I see a direct benefit straight away.

Through yoga I’ve not only been able to increase my level of fitness and flexibility but I’ve improved my posture, brought stress levels down, reduced chronic tension, learnt how to breathe effectively and increased my self-awareness.

It’s possible to achieve all this through many forms of exercise and once you find something that you truly enjoy it won’t seem as much of a challenge.

If you’re struggling to keep to regular exercise then it might be worth looking at other areas of your life first.

Do you put aside enough time for yourself?

Do you eat healthily and effectively?

Are your energy levels what they should be?

Do you have too many aches and pains to contemplate exercise?

The saying that exercise gives you more energy never rang true to me; instead it always wiped me out. Now other areas of my life are more balanced, exercise has finally become an enjoyable experience.

Gaining this awareness of my body and understanding how it reacts to what I put it through on a day to day basis was a eureka moment. It really allowed me to start treating myself with value and worth.

I embraced my weaknesses and found ways of working with them and not worrying about turning them into strengths. I began to say no to things I wasn’t really interested in or that I new I wouldn’t enjoy and I no longer felt guilty about it. How liberating!

Realizing that my time is precious to me and not precious to anyone else was an important step. This is a thought that gives me a little more bounce in my step everyday.

Comments

Carolynn Binnie

On 04.10.11 at 21:10

This is a great blog to all therapist..we all need to take a step back and stop juggling so many balls. About a year ago I started saying No… its working and its getting easier.. well done you.

rachael

On 05.10.11 at 09:10

Hi Carolynn,

Thanks for your comment!

As therapists we are quite renowned for not listening to our own advice and I’m sure clients pick up on this!
Who wants to see a pale, pasty, tired and ill looking therapist?!

Looking after ourselves definitely helps us look after our clients!

Great to hear you’ve found the same!